An Explorer’s Diary
Last night I was having a conversation with an explorer, a friend and I could feel the tenacious heart that is ready to wander yet attached to the very being of life. This is my attempt to document his life in a blog.
Explorer defies the very statement of sticking to a plan. Ever since he remembers, he has been asked to stick to something whether that be a job, home, hobby or even a relation. He was born in a middle class family, the very family that always wishes his child to be ‘very successful’ and own a ‘high-earning’ career but yet, are never ready to accept his unorthodox ways! Bottom line is – have a mediocre grounded plan, stereotype pathways to walk, risk-free twists but yet, achieve your high ambitions. Every time he wishes to deviate from the crowdy streets and rat races, he is being asked to ‘stick to the job‘. As with most of the Indian families, his childhood speeds away understanding what are their expectations, what are the dreams that his family wishes him to see, before he even realizes who is he, and what is he capable of! The inception of his ‘dreams’ starts much later when the emotional rhymes hummed to a son are overwhelmed with his rational observations of the real world society.
He goes on and on with the independent days of his college time, to the transformation of being an explorer in time. He realizes one thing about this society of hoarders and followers – an adult is a reservoir of old useless emotions including relative comparisons, jealousy, grudge, anger and possessiveness. To keep himself at bay from this whirlpool of social knuckles, he decided to explore as much as he can, to be a kid as long as he can. His life becomes an example that can trigger smile in toughest of situations, can light the darkest of hours. He decides to roam, to wander, to travel in all his limits, and learn the very essence of life. The society has changed a lot, the culture has evolved; its not the time when there were too few opportunities to play and excel. There always have been enough opportunities to play, but now the era has arrived when they have surfaced up to get all the spotlight they deserve. He is ready to argue on the very basic statement – “Try and try until you succeed”. He feels its an utter stupidity in the present era to follow this statement. Whether that be a gamble, or the strike of an opportunity, giving up at the right moment holds the treasure. With life all around you, chances are you will find better life elsewhere. Stop digging the earth to find the real gold, rather go to a pub and have a beer. He chuckles! He continues his irritation on people who just stick to stuffs, people who wish to clear one exam are are ready to drop off many years just to clear that one single exam. He feels rather than being brave and adamant enough, they are acting stupid and weak; incapable to deal with life on their own without the ‘planned’ shortcuts.
Society has always troubled me, but I wonder how the explorer deals with it. He feels he has an intuitive mind, and believes every one of us have it too. He states intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind a faithful servant. Irony of this society is – It honors the servant but has forgotten the gift. We all say that life is easier being a kid, but have you ever tried to connect the 2 dots? Science says a child’s brain is very active, in fact it deteriorates with age. And, still we say you are acting kiddish? Isn’t that a smart move then? It brings joy, happiness, stress-free life then why not allow an individual to have a ‘smart’ kiddish attitude. I discussed this with the explorer and he changes his expression, shows an attitude and says – “I have not made enough stupid mistakes in my life, to stop doing stupid things. I love being kid at times. People will have to deal with it.”
I know I loved it, but I still wonder if I am actually having the reins of my life in my hands. I wonder why the society teaches you to be dependent. Dependency cultures the physical weakness, and harms the intuitive soul. As we age, we all fall puppets to jobs and relations. What we call responsibilities are the liabilities that we happily owe till death do us apart. Explorer points out a great statement that makes me think about the life yet again. He says “I will get few chances to pave my own path, but will have a lifetime to join the rat race. If you can’t support, better leave me alone.” This spelled wonders on my thoughts, and I felt the very risk taking age is limited and constricted by the so called responsibilities of life. As the hands of time strikes the ladder of life, it gets more and more difficult to deal with living on the edge. We all were born, nurtured as a cocoon with a hope that someday will fly with wings. But, as soon as we develop it, we are expected to provide warmth more than to open and fly. The wings are our responsibility and dependency to safeguard the loved ones, but if someone tries to extend them to feel the air, the peers and society marks that a careless behavior. Independent flight is not expected from a perfect relationship, the same is not expected from a perfect employee. The mere feel of going beyond the standards is not acceptable, for the society feels either you will fall, or will reach high to be their envy! Explorer appreciates my thoughts which are now in sync with his, and says – “Rishi, remember that perfection is the ‘upper limit’ to your own imagination’. If you can’t let the reins lose, think beyond the shackles, you can’t fly!”
Now, its been a while and I started to understand what I am/was missing, and what I can do. I have been chatting to my friend for a while, and could feel if this is the only life I have in my hands, shouldn’t I be more serious yet persuasive about it on my own terms? There were questions popping in my head like the lather bubbles. I got so much involved and inspired that I could find the answers within me. The bubbles develop and pop, and leave a smile on my face. The explorer left an impression that I decided to share at the very moment. But, I felt that if I go against the expectations of society, I will be the one lonely king of my life.
I have always embraced the presence of friends, and hippocratic society, but with this step I might end up lonely. Whenever you decide to make your own path, there comes a phase of loneliness, you walking on a path no one has risked or; have tried and succumbed within, but couldn’t get through! This fear can only be dealt with a hope and smile, and a readiness to take alternatives (a no to try and try ..). But I think explorer understood my very anxiety and pats my back and said – “My friend, you are living in a competitive era. You can be the prey, and the hunter. The Darwin’s theory still takes the toll with survival of the fittest. Understand that being a loner is a great thing, especially in today’s oceans, because schooling used to be a salvation for fishes, but its suicide for them now.”
But, will that detach me from my loved ones? He smiled at me, and said – What loved ones? Love the ones, who support your feelings, who are there with you when you fall, not to pick you but to look into your eyes and say – “Rishi, you are much more than that. Get up. The ones who believe in you, have a spark in their eyes, and instead of a sympathy they always push you beyond your and even their own limits. Else, if they don’t support you in the efforts you put in, they don’t have the rights to walk with you on the red carpet. They are better off as applauding spectators. Ones who love you, don’t want you to be cocooned but rather strong enough to teach them fly.” Then I realized what he intended to say. Every bird tries to teach hatchlings the art of flying, and not to keep them warm under her wings. I think human age holds the babies the longest before accepting the fact that they are ready to face the world. And, the longer the duration, the smaller the time they get to experience life beyond the teaching of his/her family.
Now, I could find my frowns to relax, eyes to shine, and thank my heart that I met this explorer in time. I could feel what he feels, think what he thinks, and his words have resonated my thoughts as well. He touched the harmonies of life, the mere strings that once felt tangled could swarm in rhythm. I know what I have to do, I could see my goals and if I ship couldn’t sail through I know the explorer is at shores. I will continue to be humble for that’s the most important asset of the explorer, the quality that never prides on your ways, but yet keeps your head held high never to dwindle and let lose in sways.
The time has come I say bye to my friend, and thank him that he is with me. He smiles, says a good bye and utter the last words – “The secret on walking on that water is knowing where the stones are.”
I thank my stars that I have him within me, for he is my heart and he just shed some life to my rational mind. My mind will always be indebt to his grace and beats!
Heart, the explorer & Mind, the listener
I, the Gemini.